The Platypus Files.

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lol.

From my conversation with Jack, who's coming back from his gap year in Austrailia next week:

L€çÅ®i: kangaroos!
L€çÅ®i: have you seen any real ones?
Jack: not around
Jack: i thought they were gonna be roaming the streets when i got here, but noooooooo
L€çÅ®i: koalas?
L€çÅ®i: coyotes?
L€çÅ®i: roadrunners?
Jack: they dont roam the street either
L€çÅ®i: (are they even in Austrailia?)
L€çÅ®i: damn.
Jack: nor do they
L€çÅ®i: bears?
Jack: lol
L€çÅ®i: do they raid your bins?
Jack: bears, lol
L€çÅ®i: um. racoons?
Jack: thats america claire
Jack: wrong country
L€çÅ®i: I don't know what animals you get in Austrailia.
L€çÅ®i: how about a platypus?
L€çÅ®i: they're in Austrailia aren't they?
Jack: yeah
Jack: you get them
L€çÅ®i: OMG
L€çÅ®i: I WANT A PET ONE
Jack: lol
L€çÅ®i: have you seen one?
Jack: get one then
L€çÅ®i: they're so funny! what mutants!
Jack: HAHA!
L€çÅ®i: apparently they're 'poisonous' or something.
L€çÅ®i: I want to poke them with sticks. and laugh.
L€çÅ®i: "haha you're a freak! GUTTED! YOU LOOK LIKE A DUCK. BUT YOU'RE AN OTTER! HAHAHA!"
Jack: LOL!
Jack: yeah, they are poisenous and freaks
L€çÅ®i: Do you get armadillos?
Jack: i actually dont know
L€çÅ®i: oh
L€çÅ®i: how about turtles?
Jack: but i hear you can get roasted armadillo in some country
Jack: yeah, you get turtles
Jack: they're so weird
L€çÅ®i: I know!
L€çÅ®i: haha
L€çÅ®i: you'd take one look at it and feel so much better about your day.
L€çÅ®i: at least 50% of the world's population knows you exist.
Jack: lol
Jack: you meaning me or you meaning the platypus?
L€çÅ®i: lol you
L€çÅ®i: no one believes they're real!
L€çÅ®i: it's like an international conspiracy
Jack: lol
Jack: how can people not belive they exist, they DO exist!
L€çÅ®i: when they were invented everyone thought it was a joke.
Jack: invented, lol
L€çÅ®i: and how do you know, have you seen one?
L€çÅ®i: well. discovered then.
Jack: you make it sound like they were made in a factory lol
L€çÅ®i: they were made in a lab when someone thought it would be amusing to combine duck and otter DNA. it was an accident!
Jack: lol
L€çÅ®i: then they escaped and ran away to Austrailia, just like all the other freaks.
Jack: lol freaky aussies
L€çÅ®i: and bred.
L€çÅ®i: it's like Lilo and Stitch!
L€çÅ®i: except they (probably) aren't aliens.
L€çÅ®i: then someone like Bill Oddie found them, and they were screwed.
L€çÅ®i: the Government couldn't cover it up again :(

Hahaha.

You know I'm right. Yes, this was chocolate induced.