Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I've found the hiding place for idiots on the Internet!

Read More......

Yes, it's true. They're all hiding over at ResEvil! Let's take a look why, shall we?

This thread about how Totally Resident Evil (or TRE) is "for fags" was pretty much unprovoked. We banned a member, Lucky, for being an idiot (as you can probably tell, if you have the patience to read all 15 pages of mostly entire stupidity), and so the ResEvil moderator (in his amazing maturity) decides to start a 'board war,' despite breaking his own forum rules specifically saying that their 'Anger Management' or flame forum cannot be used to start board wars. Double standards, no? His insults mostly consist of "I WIN U LOSE LOL FAGS", "K GO CRY NOW," "OMG UR GHEY," "BLAHBLAHBLAH BORED LOL" and "U GOT PWNED HOMO." (Yes, that is almost the exact wording.) Then, after starting this 'board war', they accuse TRE members of starting the argument because they then sign up to ResEvil to retort (which shouldn't really have been a surprise - if someone insults you, you're going to want to have your say, especially if you're a more vocal person).

For example, a post from Sunderland 3 pages in:
...Popularity comes with being worthwhile, something I'm positive you have no idea how to pull off.

Do yourself a favor and cut the homo jokes out of your flames, it makes you look like even more of an infantile bag of ass than you truly are. Besides, it's redundant, and can be used against you oh so easily.

Gay, fags, homos, queers it's all you've got and you know it. Such a skipping record you are...

You represent your website poorly, Van. A man would've turned his back on a situation like this.

The moderator, Van, replies with:
Keep crying, Sunderland. It may wash the cum from your lips. :)

What the Hell is that about? How is that a response? Then later, Van posts:
OH NOESSS!!! SUnderland is going back and editing his posts! Did they not attempt to flame lucky for this? Hahahaha, lameness at its best.

Sunderland's reply:
lol, no no, corky. Lucky flat out deleted her posts. From now on, get the info right before you go puking it all over your boards, twat.

Don't get too overly excited over that way, bud. I was simply going back to include more of your post in my response, it wasn't an attempt to pull a fast one on you. ;)

Deep breaths, Van...deeeeep breaths...

Van's oh-so-intelligent response:
Whats up with the ;)?

See, he does love me. Sunderland proving once again, that he can take homosexuality to an all new level!

Perhaps not the best example. Eventually Marco, TRE's admin, posts this:

Dear Van,

After spending 10 minutes in your forums, I have seen the error of my ways. TRE is, in fact, gay. In order to make my forum as great as this one, I shall have to:

1) Change the colors. As it is, it is fairly easy on the eyes and all text is easily legible. This is, of course, totally wrong (or should that be: totally gay?). I am currently trying to decide between a blue background and green text, or maybe even a black background and black text, so that people will actually have to highlight things in order to be able to read them. It will be awesome! Also, I am currently in the process of designing a pink logo.

2) Create many more forums. Only 11 public forums* simply don't cut the mustard. Your forum is just the way it should be: with a gazillion of subforums to discuss every fine aspect of life, including, but not limited to: UFOs, piercings and religion. Expect to see dedicated subforums about pubic hair and tacos at TRE very soon. The more, the better!

3) Remove the crazy limits I have imposed on signatures. What, only 1 image and 3 lines of text? What was I thinking? From now on, everyone will have huge signatures. You're setting a pretty good example yourself. I may force everyone to put the full lyrics to "YMCA" in their signature, it will be a good start.

4) Create many similar topics. I realize now that we should have a "what did you do today?"-thread at least, well... every day. No point in using one single thread for important stuff like that.

5) Add more animated smilies. In fact, I have always dreamed of one day having dancing bananas on my forum, but I never realised it until now. It makes one feel so much more mature when one can end a post like this:

6) Add tons of hacks to my forum. I now know that a forum really isn't complete without built in pets, a store and an arcade where you can play all kinds of fun games. Personally, I can't wait to play Zoo Keeper, and I don't think I'm the only one.

7) Increase the avatar size limit to at least 1024x768. Apart from the increased viewing pleasure people will derive from this, it will also eliminate the need for "post your desktop"-threads because people can just use their desktop as an avatar instead. In fact, this idea is so brilliant, I wonder why no one ever thought of it before!

Well, this is all I can think of for now. I am looking forward to any additional suggestions you may be able to provide me with!



* Ofcourse we also have secret forums in which we devote ourselves to posting gay pr0n. These are, however, hidden from the public. I hope you understand.

Which I thought, by anyone's standards, was a pretty good and intelligently-written post. So, what's Van's response?

Goddamn, Marco. Your forum fails either way you would like to think about it. Nothing you can do could possibly make it better. It's horrible and no one likes it.

You're not me, Marco. So get used to failing.

Wow, great way to dodge the point entirely. Well done. Your mother must be so proud. Even posts that were not actually flames (just two people trying to have a discussion), Van sticks his "OMG TOLD!" nose in and looks like even more of an idiot.

How can someone so incredibly stupid and incompetent even figure out how to turn a PC on, let alone start his own website and message board? Has Windows and the Internet become that dumbed down? I bet they all use AOHell, too.


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