Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Men and Club/bar Etiquette

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I honestly don't understand how, in this day and age, so many guys can still be so incredibly clueless about meeting and talking to girls. On Friday night, I went out wearing a pair of sexy boots, and a fairly ordinary outfit. Now, to make this clear: I never, ever have guys come up to me or make comments towards me when I go out, and I have never had a guy even look at me while out while at Uni. The only thing that had changed about my clothes were my boots, and okay, I know they were sexy (Ceri, a girl on my floor, labelled them my porn star boots and I said they're more for pole dancing), but all of a sudden - whoosh! I was a guy magnet. Even the fireman (there was a false fire alarm just before we got there) made comments about them. Honestly.

Only one guy out of about 20 actually bothered to talk to me, like I was a real person - he asked my name, asked how I was, if I was enjoying myself, who I'd come with. Everyone else would either a) grab my arse, b) ask me to dance (and keep asking for 5mins after I'd said no!), c) drool over me as though I was a nude painting, or d) was too scared to say anything so just hovered around (3 guys just following you around but not saying anything gets very, very creepy after a while). I'd like to point out that the guy who actually talked to me, was the only guy that night who I gave my number to, and the only guy who I actually met up with afterwards. He seemed a genuinely nice, honest guy. He bought me a hot chocolate and we chatted (again, bonus - he wanted to get to know me, he made me feel like a real person), we went for a walk around (again, bonus - I wasn't pressured, as I would be if we'd gone to the cinema, for example), he wasn't sleazy (bonus points all round for that one) and didn't come onto me. He laughed at my jokes and bought me chocolate (maybe that last one's just a bonus for me), and he said when we parted that if I wanted, I could go to his later and watch a film. There was no pressure; again, he respected me as though I was a real person.

Sure, I'm not actually attracted to him and nothing came of it, but at least he got further than anyone else! I think there are many, many guys out there who could take some tips out of his book. I'm tired of hearing guys (and some girls, admittedly) complain how they can't get a girlfriend, just a one night stand or a short fling, but if you go around grabbing girls and pressuring them into dancing with you, that's all you seem interested in. If you want a girlfriend, treat girls with respect. Get to know them. You can't expect someone to enter a long-term relationship with you, if all you ever do is invite them over to yours - that's just bound to give the wrong impression! There are so many things to do, and someone can find something non-creepy in the middle of nowhere, you can find something to do where you live. Guaranteed.

A few important things to note:

Just because a girl is wearing something sexy or unique (or even if she isn't) doesn't mean she wants attention, especially if that attention is grabbing her. I don't like to be touched, let alone by strangers. It really is not sexy. I can't say that's definitely true for all girls, but I bet it's true for most. The next guy who grabs me I am going to turn round and hit as punch as I can. You wouldn't grab a girl if it was anywhere else - it'd be sexual assault. Why is it suddenly acceptable to act like animals once you get into a bar or a club? This also goes for shouting obscenities or wolf-whistling. That genuinely scares me, and I know I'm not the only girl who finds it hurtful and humiliating. Not every girl finds it a 'compliment' (although how it could be seen that way, I really don't know), despite what society seems to have told you.

Stalking a girl around a club is really, really creepy. Don't do it. Just get the balls to talk to her. And, if you stalk her and then she does talk to you - don't then get intimidated or threatened because she seems 'independent.' That's stupid - did you really think a girl's life revolves around you, anyway? (Note: it doesn't.) Again, you wouldn't follow a girl around (well, I'd hope not) anywhere else; why is it okay to in a club or a bar?

I forgot what my point was, so I'll just leave it there.

On a completely unrelated note: they need to make warning beeps for people who don't think about the word 'hot' in hot chocolate, and take a huge gulp of their drink anyway. OH IT BURNS! And because you can't really spit it out, you have to swallow, and now both my throat and tongue have gone numb and sore. :( Talking of my throat, according to my Doctor's note I had tonsilitus, not mumps - but at least that makes my whining sound more valid.

My TV channels have all swapped around overnight. It's odd.


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