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Not a lot really to update about. Still spending far too much money on clothes (mostly Lip Service), still not practising piano half as much as I should be if I want to learn this grade 8 piece, still going to the gym regularly, still single and lonely, and still just getting work handed in on time (but at least I actually am this term). Been to look at a few houses, they seemed nice but I've not heard anything back yet so I've not got my hopes up. Still don't know what I'm going to do come September, I'm going to look round Kent but I might just end up going through clearing. I really had got my hopes on going to Bristol, though, I've spoken to lots of people who live there (online) and there's loads of alternative/gothy things for me to do (one of Bangor's main downfalls).

I also got a MySpace profile, because I got sick of all the invitation emails. It's okay, I guess, but I can't see myself ever really using it. Oh well, at least it stops all the emails.

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This creature does not belong.



I AM LOOKING INTO YOUR SOUL
YOU LOOK SO TASTY
SO TASTY
I MUST FEED
FEED ON YOUR BRAINS
PLEASE
SO HUNGRY

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I have recently become a Fiona Apple fan.

I originally heard about her many years ago, while I was still getting into Tori Amos. At the time I downloaded a few songs ('Never is a Promise' is the only one I remember), which I listened to a few times but didn't stick out for me, and so it was left, forgotten, on my hard drive; I should have caught on that she was someone to pay more attention to after finding out that many Tori fans were also big Fiona fans. That was all I heard from her for a long while (and why should I, when she hasn't commercially released anything since '99?) until recently, when a fan posted in a Tori Amos LiveJournal community I'm a member of.

Fiona's most recent recording, 'Extraordinary Machine,' has, it seems, been cancelled by her record company, Epic (owned by Sony), as they don't feel it'd sell enough copies to make it's release worthwhile - in other words, it's not commercial (or accessible, if you prefer) enough. Freefiona.com has been launched by outraged fans in light of this to head a campaign against Sony for it's release, posting plastic apples to the record company. (The likelihood is, by the 5th apple, they took one look and immediately had them all disposed of, but they are continuing to persist.)Things looked bleak for the cause until recently when an anonymous source released a copy of 'Extraordinary Machine' across several p2p programs online. Curious to see what the fuss was about, I acquired a copy, and took a listen.

It caught my attention - so much so, that last week I purchased a copy of her second album: 'When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King, What He Knows Throws The Blows When He Goes To The Fight And He'll Win The Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters The Ring, There's No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might, So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand And Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of Heights And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land, And If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right.' (Yes, that really is the full title - all 90 words of it.)

I should have realised from the title that this would be an ambitious and unique record - not many artists would have the confidence to face the ridicule that a title like that will obviously bring. From the opening chords of 'On the Bound' I was hooked; the opening lines "all my life is on me now, hail the pages turning, and the future's on the bound, Hell don't know my fury" setting the fiery tone for the rest of the album. Intelligent, powerful poetry is the centre of her music, with a jazz-pop setting, yet photos of her give the impression of someone fragile, with her big eyes and waif-like figure. She gives the impression of someone who will not be pushed around in her lyrics, such as "So call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now baby, it won't be long till you'll be lying limp in your own hand" from 'Limp,' so it’s surprising when you hear of her experiences with rape and abuse that caused her to be afraid of men for many years and develop an eating disorder. However, amid the drum solos, she has still managed to master the soft ballad in songs such as 'Love Ridden' and 'I Know.' These give the album a much more human and down-to-earth feel, as it’s easy to get swept away by Fiona’s haunting voice and imagery.

It is so easy to group her with the other angry female artists that appeared in the 90s (Tori, Shirley Manson of Garbage, P.J. Harvey, Ani DiFranco and Alanis Morissette being just a few), but she is so much more than that. Stand-out tracks include 'Paper bag,' 'Fast as You Can,' 'Limp' and 'Get Gone.' And no, I don't think 'Extraordinary Machine' is really any different from her previous offerings - both of which were highly successful and multi-platinum. But then, I find it crazy for them to expect an artist who calls the world "bullshit" in an award acceptance speech to produce "something familiar, something similar to what we know already that will keep us steady - steady going nowhere."

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I am almost certain now that the world is working against me to force me to stay in this hole.

This morning, for some reason, I woke up at about 6am and just laid in bed listening to the birds singing. It was nice. I'd forgotten to close my window before falling asleep (the first time I've ever done that while living here) and because of that they were so loud. I got worried that one of them had gotten into my room, and started panicing that there was a parrot in my room (I don't know why parrot, it sounded exotic). Then it stopped singing, and all I could hear was the birds behind singing quietly, and something started tapping my window. I still have no idea what it was. It eventually stopped, and I laid listening to the other birds singing (one of them sounded like a phone ringing, although I know it wasn't), and eventually drifted off again, feeling very relaxed and calm. I think that's probably the most memorable moment I've ever had here.

In other news, I've been pinning strips from Dinosaur comics on my door and changing it every day. They're just totally awesome, I think everyone should read them! It makes me laugh so much, and everyone on my floor seems to enjoy them too. They keep reminding me to change the strip every day :D I'm slowly building a Dinosaur comic strip wall, as each one I put on my door I then put on my wall (because it'd be a waste of paper if I threw it away, and I love trees!) above my keyboard. My room looks full of personality now!

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OMG THERE IS A DADDY LONG LEGS IN MY ROOM AND NO ONE IS HERE TO GET RID OF IT ARG HELP

I tried to shoo it out the window and it just jumped at me, so I screamed and ran away. :( arg. *twitch*

Edit: Why is it that everyone comes back after it's been gotten rid of? It seemed a bit planned to me.

The only thing is, it only had 5 legs. I hope this doesn't mean I will find a leg sometime in the near future. :( urgh. They're disgusting. I'm just so scared of them.

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From the BBC Wales website:

Experts have been called in to assess the damage after a lorry reversed into an outbuilding containing chemicals at Bangor University.

An exclusion zone of 200 metres was set up and people were moved to a nightclub in the city. Part of the storeroom collapsed after the lorry crashed into it at 1230 BST on Wednesday. But there have been no reports of injuries and fire chiefs said chemicals cylinders had not been damaged.

Five fire engines were called to the site at Deiniol Road and an ambulance was also sent as a precautionary measure.

Diversions were also set up for drivers in the area.

Terry Williams from North Wales Fire Service said that they had initially been worried that cylinders containing argon and acetylene gas in the store room which are connected by fixed pipes into the building. The main concern had been for the acetylene cylinder, but that has now been made safe and Mr Williams said he was "fairly happy" that there were "no issues at the moment to worry about".

Experts are now awaiting to assess the structure of the building before fire officers enter to remove the cylinders, he said.

The University of Wales, Bangor said the incident was being dealt with by the fire service with the assistance of university health and safety officers.

Deiniol Road, Farrar Road and Deiniol Road at the junction of Ffordd Gwynedd in Bangor remained closed late afternoon.

I wasn't in the area at the time, but as the Psychology building is next to the Chemistry block, my lecture tomorrow may be cancelled, and the alternative night (Trash) at the club (also next to it - odd I know) has been cancelled as a precaution. Tomorrow night Funeral for a Friend are playing at Time (the club), so hopefully it will be all okay for that.

This must be the biggest news in Bangor since the University opened. :p

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I love listening to music up loud and in my earphones and just diving in and getting lost inside it (especially when the song is swirly - it seems to work better that way).

I realise that sounds very odd, but it makes perfect sense to me.

A more productive (and understandable) entry will come later.

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You'd think the fact that we have nothing in common and that he always brings up religion and gets insulted would be enough to put him off. But no! He's even more obsessed than ever. Whether he has mental problems or not is something to be debated, I think. I wouldn't mind, but I like my personal space (and practically sitting on my lap is definitely an invasion of that) and I like being around people who don't try to pressure me into agreeing with their views (like the Bible being historical fact, for example) and who actually have opinions (if I ask you what you think of Tori Amos, your opinion is not what you found on a Google search).

Where do I find them? They all need to crawl back under the rock they came from.

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Back at Uni now; it still sucks. I've got lots of work to do this term. I've not really been out much since I got in, it seems after each holiday I become more and more isolated from the people here.

I've been going to the gym, so hopefully I'll be toned for summer. I'm then planning on learning to swim, because I'll actually be fit enough to do it and I won't feel as self-conscious. (The real downfall of swimming, I think, is the fact that you have to be half-naked to do it.) I had my induction and was shown how to use the machines yesterday, and I'm planning on going again tomorrow. Every other day should be enough, I think (or I hope so, anyway). And who knows, I may even get muscle on my arms! (Now, wouldn't that be a miracle.) They do actually feel a bit bigger, although I don't know if that's just my imagination or not.

I'm tired of guys looking at me and just seeing flesh and an easy lay. It'd be nice if someone would just think of me as more than that, instead of just wanting photos. Case in point: He seemed like a nice, friendly and outgoing guy in person, asked for my email, and I thought "giving my email address to a friend can't do me any harm." Ha! That's what positive thinking does for me. I need to stop that. I always get proven wrong.

I've bought lots of CDs this week, thanks to my student loan;
Queens of the Stone Age - 'Lullabies to Paralyse'
Garbage - 'Bleed Like Me' (that came out Monday, I hope everyone got their copy on the day like me! If not, shame on you.)
Defenestration - Ray Zero and For Us it Ends When we Drown.
There's a few others too (Maplebee, Econoline Crush, Drain STH) but they haven't arrived yet, the first due to a lazy seller and the others because I've had to order them from the US.

I haven't felt like updating this blog much. Sorry. I really don't have a lot to say, there's not really anything of interest going on with me at the moment or the world at large. But I now have a counter on my blog, I guess that's worth mentioning.

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You say the word you know I will find you,
Or if you need some time I don’t mind,
I don’t hold on to the tail of your kite.
I’m not like the girls that you’ve known,
But I believe I’m worth coming home to.
Kiss away night,
This girl only sleeps with butterflies...
so go on and fly then, boy.

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Angriest Rice Cooker.

Someone posted the link on their LiveJournal, and I just had to go tell everyone. The above is my favourite. :D I can't wait til they do some more (judging by the archives, or lack of, it seems to be quite new).

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Gmail has upgraded everyone to 2gb without telling. And here was I thinking I was just special and had done something amazing to suddenly have "You are currently using 197 MB (10%) of your 2058 MB." at the bottom of my mailbox. Seems a bit sneaky to not let us know, I think.

My life would be much easier if I could just control everyone and make them do what I liked. I'd be much happier for it. It's frustrating to see people I know and care about making the same mistakes I did, and not listening to me when I know they're fucking up, then finding out the hard way. You could argue that that personal experience is the best way to learn, but it just makes me so frustrated when I know that I've been there and done that and that if they'd only listen, they'd be saving themselves so much pain and hassle!

I feel bad for the Pope. It seems so gory to have his photo plastering the front cover of the papers today. But at least he looks as though he's peaceful now - it sounds like he was in a lot of agony. I didn't agree with a lot of his viewpoints, and I do feel that, for someone in such a high position of power, there was a lot of good that he could've done, if only his religion had agreed with it. Such as helping women and homosexual's rights, encouraging contraception in high HIV areas to stop the situation getting worse, throwing out the priests who abused their position (and young boys). I mean, overall, I personally don't believe that's the kind of viewpoint you should be pushing onto society; in some ways, he has done much more harm than good. However, I do think that he had a huge responsibility, one that he was still dedicated to even when he could barely speak or do much at all due to the immense pain. I always thought that was unfair, you'd think he would be allowed to heal without that extra pressure and the extra duties. I don't know how he managed it. It'd drive me crazy after a while. After extra contemplation on the situation, I don't think I could cope with being a Popess after all. (Or at least not one that doesn't have holidays, just like everyone else.) The power would be nice, though. Think of all the good I could do in a position like that.

Anyway. Enough rambling. Sleep.

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I went out for another drive with my Dad last week, and we went to a few garages to find out about replacing my car's exhaust. The joint between the catalyst converter and the exhaust itself that comes out of the back of the car has rusted away, and there's a huge hole in it. Unfortunately, they can't just replace the joint - they have to replace the whole thing. Annoying, since the rest of the exhaust is absolutely fine. Seems a bit of a waste of an exhaust, to be honest. Because they've got to replace the whole thing, it's going to cost at least £300, to get the parts, and then labour on top (which depends on the garage). So far we've gone to Kwick Fit (which said about £400) and the Vauxhall dealer which said about £350 (because they're friends with my Dad). Not impressed though - cars are far too expensive. I've got to sort out the road tax on Monday - that's another £100-120ish. I feel so poor.

I've found lots of new music recently - Ripped are a very good band, although I can't find them on Amazon or anywhere, actually. I guess 'ripped' isn't a very good keyword for LimeWire or SoulSeek. I also want to hear Maplebee; the reviews sound intruiging and she's Katie Jane Garside's sister, which also makes her sound pretty good. Also the fact that her first CD is a double disk, also makes her all the more interesting to me. Her official site has a few clips, and I really like them. Her voice is a lot like her sister's. I can't wait til my student loan comes through. There's so many CDs I want to get at the moment. And, on a related note - I saw Garbage on Johnathon Ross the other night, and they were absolutely amazing. I don't like the chorus of their latest single, but it's good to hear they're back to rock, rather than the pop-electro mess that was BeautifulGarbage. Shirley also looks fantastic - I'm so glad to see she's grown her hair back and has it back to ginger, she looks gorgeous. The dark eye make up is also a great move on her makeup artist's part, she looks so much younger, and I think she looks better than ever (if that's possible). I hope everyone is planning on buying their album on April 11th!

I only got to see half of Doctor Who last night - someone called me in the middle of it, and when you've said "I'm watching Dr Who at the moment" you'd think they'd get the hint and call back later. Unfortunately not, so I missed the last 15mins. I was actually quite disappointed, because of the average episode last week, this one was actually much better - I guess that's first episodes for you. Rose's accent still annoys me, though, especially since it seems every alien out there talks like she does - such as the female smurf plumber. But the Dr actually made me laugh a few times, which is one up on last weeks, too, which just wasn't actually all that amusing.

Things don't seem to be going so well at the moment. I'm even more tempted to not bother with Uni, although it's not like I have much left for me here anymore either. I wish I could drive; I can't help but think that would make my life a whole much more easier. Uni has pretty much ruined everything for me, as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't help that someone I care very much about doesn't want to talk to me anymore, either. I'm worried we may never speak again. I don't know what it is I've done (and I'm sure I have, as otherwise they wouldn't be avoiding me like the plague), but I don't think any of it was bad enough for me to have deserved this (or at least I hope not). I feel stupid for trusting them with absolutely everything and for believing they were different - in reality, they are just the same as everyone else I've known before. They have a lot of grovelling to do.

I don't really have anything planned next week. I'm probably going to see Laurence on Tuesday, if I do I'll be staying over. I want to see Dann, too, but I think he's busy all week. :( I go back to Uni next weekend, so if anyone wants to meet up before then, now's your chance.

Oh, and in case anyone's feeling generous: my Amazon wishlist.

"It's not me, it's you."

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Ha, what a classic.